The reason I hate to lie...

Well usually I'm pretty open in my conversations and always go around telling ppl what I truly think and feel about certain situations, but today I was confronted by one question which not only kinda disturbed me, but also I didn't have any clue as to what to answer...

While talking to some friends at a party the subject of relationships came along and in mid-conversation, someone asked me about what I would do IF I was confronted with the situation in which I was at a random party with Tonya, and whether or not I would flirt around with other girls knowing that she was there at the party. The reality is that sincerely I don't know what I would do. Actually, I do know... The reality is that I just wouldn't because deep down inside I have feelings for her and I do like her a lot. BUT even though I feel that way about her, the thing is that we are nothing more than friends so far... And in that's a hard question to answer because I don't know what I would do...

I mean... it would depend on the situation, but then again out of respect I guess I would not do anything, largely in part cos I've already tried to do that and the road led me anywhere but to one destination and that's T. I guess that means I'm really stupid, really stubborn, or just a hopeless romantic... =P

Hopefully it's the last one...

BUT during the conversation I lied to everyone... I just admitted that I wouldn't care flirting with other ppl... I said that I would just go around and do it, when in reality I know that I couldn't be able to, because that's just wrong. In my opinion you can't do something like that to other ppl. That's bad, especially in a situation where you know that both parties involved have something between them.

I hate lying, not only because I'm not expressing what I really think, but also because deep down, I'm trying to lie to myself...

I guess deep down inside I have strong feelings for Tonya...

And that's all I have to say about that subject...

XoD