Meh!

It's one of those things you know... Even thought you don't like it when it happends, it is something that always goes around. We might not even realize that it is happening, but it always is.

Change.

Things always change around us. If we notice or not is another thing, but that is always a constant. I guess the hardest thing to do is trying to realize and re-adapt to the changes. But even if you do adapt to them, I still wonder if it's for the best?

But then again if you don't... then how will you realize if it was for the best or not?

Hhhhmmmm... tricky... indeed!

How to define your love to someone?!?!

The BIG question stands...

For me I guess it just came to me...

And what's the answer you may ask yourself?!?!?

I just stay with D...

I know... We have been having so many differences, but in the end I just can't leave her... I'm either too gullible, or a fool...

But either way if I'm right or wrong I'm not gonna leave her behind, because I believe that she will need my help in the future...

Ok, so I sound selfish...

But deep down inside I still belive that this is all for her goodwill...
And the fact that I love her...

=oP

At my best...

Throughout my life I have found that I'm always at my best when I'm cornered...
When all hope seems to be lost...
When I find myself with no hope, surrounded by the darkness of my inner self.

That's when I'm at my best, I somehow always find a way to overcome obstacles. I won't say that I'm proud of the way or the methods I've used, but it gets me where I have to go and out of the situation. Lately things have been getting tougher, and I have definitely found myself in that space and time where my subconscious will take over and excel where my consciousness hasn't.

Everything must take it's course... there's only one way to go from here, and that is up.

Let's see

I don't know what's up right now. I'm just wondering here why, and how things got to this point. Was it a a small thing that just kept on rolling and turned really ugly? Or was something that just snapped in an instance?

Oh well, is it even worth the time to try and figure it out? I dunno...
Then again I don't know as much as I thought I did.

Am I blind or just ignorant? Or maybe sometimes I'm both and yet just play along?
Hhhmmmmm...

Well I got the whole week to still look ahead to, so I guess I'll just find out...
Eventually...

The Girl

Funny...

I have no clear view on this one...
I know we are too much like a rollercoaster ride, we always have our high points and our low points. We agree and disagree on a lot of things alike, and we like to piss each other off, but at the same time we also like to make each other feel good and happy.

So why is it so hard for us to be the perfect couple?!?

Because nothing is perfect in this life, and we have to cope with each other to learn how to know ourselves and one another. Funny, but that is reality...

Someone made me realize today, that even thought we might be nothing, we have something that is special. Something that is worth much more than anything anyone would understand. I guess that's why I keep on being a sucker for you...

I guess that's why no matter if we are happy or fighting with each other, I'll always be here for you...

=oP

Love ya!

- E

Esto es... Vivir sin aire...

"Como quisiera poder vivir sin aire
Como quisiera poder vivir sin agua
Me encantaría quererte un poco menos
Como quisiera poder vivir sin ti

Pero no puedo, siento que muero
Me estoy ahogando sin tu amor

Como quisiera poder vivir sin aire
Como quisiera calmar mi aflicción
Como quisiera poder vivir sin agua
Me encantaría robar tu corazón

Como pudiera un pez nadar sin agua
Como pudiera un ave volar sin alas
Como pudiera la flor crecer sin tierra
Como quisiera poder vivir sin ti

Pero no puedo, siento que muero
Me estoy ahogando sin tu amor

Como quisiera poder vivir sin aire
Como quisiera calmar mi aflicción
Como quisiera poder vivir sin agua
Me encantaría robar tu corazón

Como quisiera lanzarte al olvido
Como quisiera guardarte en un cajón
Como quisiera borrarte de un soplido
Me encantaría matar esta canción"

Mana

Half of myself

I'm sorry...

I cannot be what you want me to be...
I cannot be Leif...
be Willie(Willy)...
or Timothy...

I am what I am, and nothing will ever change that. I'm sorry that I'm not what you expect me to be. I'm sorry I can't be that one person that will change the way that you are, or help you throught the problems that you have...

I guess I'm just as selfish as the ppl before me...

I love you with all of my heart, and that is TRUE...
Both you and I know that all to well.

Maybe another time, and somewhere far away things will ulitimately will work out... but for now...

Gooodbye...

=o(

Smile!

Because today is the most important day of your life. Some ppl might think otherwise, but then again no two ppl think alike. Things will get better, although it might take some time, but they always do.

Anyhow happy birthday! I know you will enjoy it!

=oP

Cold tea...

As I sip on my two hour-old tea I find that it is really cold by now and I shoulda put some more water to boil... but oh well... you might be wondering where is he going with this?!?

To tell you the truth I have no mofo idea. After keeping my distance from D for the past four days or so I finally talked to her tonite. Where does this all leave me? I wish I could have an answer for it, it's hard since hhhhmmmm... I want to play it off as if I'm done with her, but the reality is that I'm not. I'm just trying to fool myself otherwise but every time I talk to her I realize that it's ridiculous. Where is this all leading to? I wish I could know, it is difficult for me as I'm sure it's difficult for her as well.

I guess it's never easy when it comes down to the two of us. Talk about a pair of a kind...

=P

Ok, so now what?

A lotta shit has been going on lately... It seems like sometimes I should just say fuck it to all of it and just stop caring. But then I realize that I'm not that way. As much as I want to just don't care, I can't. It's not me, I just care too much about certain things that it's difficult.

Sometimes I wish D, would just blow me off, and just tell me that she's not into me and that she has someone else. It would just make things better, but she is always so elusive about shit like that. I dunno...

I love her a lot and it's just difficult sometimes... I dunno what I'm doing... Am I wasting my time with her? I would like to think that I'm not, but lately things have been pointing otherwise. I'm fucked... C'est la vie I guess...

Oh well, I better hit the sack I'm falling asleep...

Nite!