It's that moment when I realize...

A lot of things have been going in my mind... A lot of things have happened lately... good, and bad... Overall I guess they balance out in a way, or so I say. I try to convince myself that they are but in reality I don't even know if they do. I would try to make sense of it all, but I think that for my sanity I just have to let those things be in the past.

My sanity... haha... what is sanity...?!?

Let's see let me google the definition... one moment please...

Main Entry: san·i·ty : the quality or state of being sane; especially : soundness or health of mind

hhhhmmmm... health of mind...

Anyways back to my point... which is my point? I ponder and ponder about it all the time and I'm not even sure. I'm so indecisive on my decisions... Right now I'm all over the place.
I'm not ready to let her go, but I know that I have to. How to do it? When to do it? Should I even do it? I don't know... It sucks... I don't know what the fuck I'm doing anymore. Why does this have to be so complicated? Fuck... it's all... I dunno anymore...

I'm letting go not because I want to, but because it's the best for both of us... She's already with out foot out the door anyways, she's ready. Besides she's a free spirit, and I'm a lone wolf... That's how it is right? I mean we are so different right? That's just how it is right? I dunno...

It's that moment when I realize that I'm not ready to make any type of decisions... Should I just play it by ear for the next month and a half(or two)??? I dunno...

It's so fucking hard... Am I just stalling the inevitable?!? well the answer to that is yes... unfortunately I am...

It never gets easy...