A hard day...

Lately I've been having a tough time. Waking up in the morning has been hard, and it's not what it used to be. It was really hard for me to go teach at Acro today especially the first class, and apparently it showed since a few of the nannies/parents noticed this and tried to cheer me up.

Some of them actually asked me about Danielle and I just felt my heart droppin down to the floor. It's just really hard for me right now to face the fact that she's gone and I won't see her in some time. Chaguis tried to lift my mood but it's, I dunno... I guess it's just a process I've got to go through, and the only thing I can hope for is that it will be all ok.

It's hard when your best friend/family/love/special person, is not around there to just talk to. Now that I look back on it I realize that a lot of the bad things that happened were probably because of my wrong doin'. Maybe if I had done things differently things would had been much better. Oh well... maybe not, maybe things would have been much more worse. Anyhow one thing is for sure, and that is that she really came into my life at just the right moment... I was having a tough time coping with myself and she just lifted my spirits up.

She would always ask me why I would always be 'nice' to her when she was not reciprocating that feeling. The reason is simple, and that is that I'm grateful for what she has done, aside from the fact that the bond that we have is special. Maybe we are not meant to be together, but we have something special and we can't deny it. It's hard to explain... it's hard to understand... it is just what it is...

=o)

I know she cares... I know she loves me... I know she misses me... because I know that she knows I feel the same way...

It is indeed a hard time for me in my life...

C'est la vie...